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Dying young…what if???

I’ve been covering a cough/flu since a month now, thanks to the “I-hate-modern-medicine” part of me who refuses to swallow any chemicals-based pills and the “I-am-too-lazy” part of me, who well, is too lazy to prepare any natural concoctions to fight the ugly bacterias. As a result, I ended up taking a leave without pay from work yesterday (I am only entitled paid leaves as from today, being my 1 year anniversary at the job;bitter sweet irony, huh?). I probably coughed and threw out 1/3 of my lungs and I wondered if the smoking wasn’t majorly responsible for this.

Anyway! When I was back to work today and pondering about how a stupid flu could be having the best of 200-and-something-lbs me during my free time, I pondered so deep that I imagined how it would be like, if I actually was living my last days on this earth. (Just writing the last sentence took me about 5 minutes between the thinking and the coughing, so you have an idea how bad it is) Back to the fruits of my pondering, I thought to myself that if I were to leave this awful world, there would probably be more regrets than just leaving a loving family behind. There should be something that I would miss. Not that you can really miss anything when you’re dead, but hey, blame it on the germs eating part of my brain.

So, with the part of my brain which was still struggling to be functional, and because dying young is a fate which does not happen only to others, I came up with a bucket/to-do/last wills list I would like to accomplish before turning 30 and gray, that I wanted to share with you. Any ideas are the most welcome, since, again blame it on the bacterias, I cannot think of much lately.

1. Work out

Because working out is the actual topic I am trying not to avoid. Working out leads to a trimmer body, leading probably to a happier me and happy people have a longer life expectancy (at least I hope).

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I work out!!!

2. Have a “bitch-for-one-day” day.

I read about a funny article in a German magazine a few years ago, about that shy girl who is usually afraid to assert herself and avoid being pushed around, but who decided to act bitchy for a day just to know about the feeling and related about it. I was soooo inspired. I am not usually shy, but sometimes reserved and I have seen more of my reserved sides lately than I needed to.

3. Gang bang !?

OK, ‘nuf said, don’t judge, have mercy (grin).

4. Play the guitar.

Actually, I started to learn a few years ago. I took lessons during 5 months before I flew to the unknown as an Au-pair to Germany. I even brought my guitar along, in the hope that I would finally be able to play “More than words”. The guitar is in better hands now but I still regret not being able to show off my skills during camping nights at the beach.

5. Last will stuff: Have “TNT” by AC/DC played at my funerals.

I just love this song, it’s timeless and I will probably be rocking in my coffin if they grant me this very last wish. I should update my family about this one though.

6. Visit a few countries/cities like Ireland, New Zealand, New York, Bali and Holland

This is my top 5 list in descending order. I will surely not be able to achieve that one before 30, mostly due to my budget (except if I meet a millionaire who would accept taking me on a world tour without asking anything in return, you never know! Anyone out there feeling philanthropic??? ). With some savings or maybe some happy turns with my lucky numbers, I can probably afford the first one.

7. Get inked.

This one depends on No 1. I feel like a nice big tattoo on my back would look even sexier with a trimmed body. I am already thinking of the motives I would like to see on my skin and trying not to think too much about what it will look like when I’ll be 70 (if ever).

8. Have a song written for me.

Tough one. I guess I should start updating my contact list with a few musically gifted people and get them bewitched or even find a part time bashful lover who doesn’t mess with notes??? I will figure out.

This is how far I got during my spare time at work today but I will be extending this list as soon as I get my working mind back on track.

XOXO Dona.

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Regardless where you live in the world, communication is the most important tool you have to make yourselves understood. Words of course play a major role but we have found so many other ways to express ourselves. Be it signs, art and music. The list could go on; we just need to be creative. Communication skills is a must-have when applying for most jobs nowadays.

So what happens then when language becomes a barrier?

I could relate too well. I went to Germany as an au-pair, with only some basic German language skills. I was left with two kids, one of whom didn’t speak english or french. I was going around the house with my dictionary and would take 10 mins to tell her she should stop being naughty! Thank God this phase is over and I’m almost fluent in German.

Now to give you some background; I met my husband in Germany. We got married in Mauritius a few months later. We now have 2 kids, Cameron,6 and Dean,2 (not very German names!). My husband speaks German and English, which in a country where English is the official language, should not be an issue at all. Not if you know the Mauritian history.

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Mauritius is a former Dutch (1638–1710), French (1710–1810), where the island started developing effectively, and British (1810–1968) colony. Though the English occupancy is still very well felt in the Government and even educational system, most Mauritian will speak French. The French brought slaves from Africa. As a result, and for better communication, Mauritian creole was born. Meaning, it is easier for us to speak and understand French. Even if the school books are in English, the language used for teaching is mostly French. (I’m only trying to write in English to get more viewers :p)

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Cameron grew up with both French and German. At first she would mingle the two languages, but by the time she was 4, she could clearly tell which was which. I was proud of her, but also happy I could scold her in public, without anyone understanding what I was saying(don’t judge me 🙂 ) But then, about two years ago, my husband and I had to take a decision which was hard for all of us. He went back to Germany for work, and I stayed in Mauritius with the kids. Dean was only 5 months old. During his time abroad, we communicated via Messenger and Dean ,though not really “knowing” is father was aware of him.

As a working mom, I decided to go back to live with my dad. It was the best choice for the kids and myself. My grandma lived next door and she took care of them while I was at work. The children were surrounded by the family. My dad, brother and cousins, aunt and Grandma. They had the chance to live what I had the chance to experience as a kid; Family values.

Of course, I am ashamed to admit that during that time, not a single word of German was spoken. Our daily life went on in a very Creole atmosphere, spiced up with some French. Back to the roots! It is true that kids learn a language very easily at that age, but it is also true that they forget quite as easily.

Now the issue; Hubby came back from Germany yesterday. Though the Homecoming was one filled with emotions, my laziness of not nurturing my kids in their second language is being felt. They do not understand their dad! My daughter would pick some words and sentences back up through her selective memory. Funny to observe how kids can be so cunning these times. She would do as said when being asked to bring this or that, give a kiss or hug, but answer with a i-don’t-know-what you-mean grin, when being told to behave. Even funnier – she would answer back in basic English she learns at school (though she always told me she didn’t learn anything when I asked how was her English class).

Until we find a place for ourselves where the language will be heard on a daily basis, we are trying to slowly introduce German language back in the children’s life. So far we are not doing bad at all. Dean already understands when I ask him to show me his feet or hands. It should be easier for him, since he is just about learning to speak correctly.

Hubby’s only back since yesterday, so we have a lot of time in front of us. This journey to German language should be a funny one. One I too needed. We hope that we will be able to achieve it by the end of the year. All I can do for now is help and fantasize about being able to enjoy not being understood from the public in a few months from now.

If you have had the same experiences, I would welcome all tips to shorten the deadline I gave us and I hope you enjoyed the reading (though my English skills still have a long way to go for perfection).

“When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.”
― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

for the busy bees out there

FOOD CHIC by Amelie

This is my dad’s supper..the best chicken ever..you can make it so fast..and its cooked in almost no oil..try it if you are feeling lazy today and add a quick salad with it..

INGREDIENTS
Chicken ( as much as you can eat)- get fresh chicken from the market
2 Tbs mustard (with seeds in it..or in other words…moutarde a l’ancienne)
Salt
Pepper
Fresh lemon juice ( or bottled one)

For salad..whatever you want..my dad makes lettuce,tomatoes,feta,english cucumber..and as i said..anything you have in your fridge makes a good salad…

DIRECTIONS
Marinate you chicken in the above ingredients.,.and just cook it in a non stick frying pan..add oil if you feel like it..but it taste just as good without the oil…

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And for the salad….easy peasy..cut,toss and turn..add olive oil or any form of salad dressing you like..

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ENJOY

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I apologize for any grammatical and vocabulary mistakes which might sore your eyes. English is the official language in my country, but we speak more French. Thank God spell check exists.

I woke up this morning and already something was bugging me. I could not understand what it was until I got on the scale. The figure I saw was one I never reached before in my entire life and it started to freak me out. I knew I would eventually have to confront such a situation, but I am as good at making excuses as at shifting issues in a part of my mind which would surface when a maximum degree of helplessness is felt. I knew all along that I needed to start taking care of my body, and even more since I started to put on 1 Lbs/week. But again the excuses; I was invited to a girls out, which meant alcohol and pasta with rich creamy sauce, I needed new shoes to start working out, when the new shoes were bought, I needed to download the newest fitness video and when the video was here, I didn’t have much time…It would go on and on like this and nothing would be done.

I am not the type of girl to worry much about my body since I am lucky enough and have always had positive responses from men, no matter how much I weighed. To be honest to myself, my mind was stuck on a body which I didn’t see since a long time. So, every time I looked into the mirror, I’d see something else as my actual frame. If anyone did not like my body, I just didn’t care. I am that self-confident. The thought of not being able to wear my favorite clothes was not enough of a motivation to make me sweat out the fat. Dress too tight – goes in a corner of my closet, waiting for better days. Better days which unfortunately never came since a few years. I’d buy clothes fitting my actual silhouette and try to make the most out of it.

Most posts I have read about women trying to lose weight were always related to the fact that they wanted to look good in what they wore or feel healthy and energetic. OK, maybe I would think of stuff like this too and tell myself I needed give it a go. The whole idea only remained a thought at the end of the day and I ended up eating even more each time (yes, I’d tell this to myself several times a month) because – I suppose – I subconsciously thought of that meal as being the last big fat meal before entering a whole new phase of counting calories or eating kids’ portion.

So what is it that’s making me change my mind after so long? The appealing thought of showing off my bikini fit body next summer instead of a baby bump (unfortunately, I’m not pregnant!)? No. The reason is very trivial. I don’t know if you will relate if you have ever been overweight in your life. For me, this is even worse than trying something on in a shop and having to tell the salesgirl eagerly waiting outside the cabin that it doesn’t fit. The reason is that I want to add some lifespan to my shoes. Yes, for the sake of my shoes. I am a shoe lover, like most I guess; I cannot walk by a shoe shop and not stop for a look. This activity which brought so much joy in my life became a source of frustration. After 2 pregnancies and several weight gains, the parts of my body which suffered the most are my feet. People would tell me that they would not have known I was pregnant, looking at me from the back. Well, I guess, they’d get the confirmation when looking further down at my feet. I never had big issues with water retention or varicose veins but my feet could simply not hold that much weight. I’m 26 and carrying some 209 lbs around. My shopping ritual has changed drastically ever since. Instead of going for the pumps and stilettos which would add up some grace to my ankle line, I’d end up buying the same wedges over and over again in different colors as long as the stock was there. After successfully squeezing my feet in I would finally feel comfortable after a few days of wearing them. I would not trust myself in heels again, except for girls’ nights out or clubbing. I have seen too many heels smashed up under my happy hippo mass.  Somehow I could get along with it. Don’t, get me wrong. I like wedges. They can be very sexy too and more comfortable to wear than high heels during your daily life routines. BUT my wedges would last 2 months if I was lucky, after which the sole started wearing off, leaving way for public humiliation of walking up the stairs at work in front of judging eyes or self-consciousness issues. After all, you can tell a man by his shoes. I envy the girls who show up at work with different shoes every week, in different styles. They look so graceful, sexy and even more professional in them. I instead would be wearing my red wedges, regardless of the fact that they do not match with the rest.

Now that hubby is coming back from a long stay abroad and bringing some of the cutest pumps and ankle boots I have ever seen, I cannot waste more time. As soon as he is here, we are going to start the journey to a new healthy body together. What I did not tell him though is that I would not dare wearing these shoes with my actual weight. I don’t want to ruin the shoes. We did not think of any particular diet. We’d rather control our food and try to eat balanced meals, which in my case is extremely difficult considering my work shifts. But if I don’t start preparing my mind for the change, I will end up as a depressive before 30. I cannot afford that. I have two kids I love above all and they deserve the best.

I do not know if losing my extra pounds will help my feet (they are large and always seem to be flooding out of my shoes in their actual state) but I know that a cousin of mine ended up with slimmer feet after shedding her unwanted pounds. Funny, isn’t it? Well I hope this will be my case too and I can’t await the opportunity I will have to shop at Aldo’s without worrying about the shame of not fitting in the shoes. Anyway, if they do not fit, at least I’ll be satisfied with the slimmer body.

It is definitely high time to take things in hand, or better said, feet!

I would gladly read your comments and similar experiences.

Xoxo

Dona

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